I went to a meeting last night at the church for men's group leaders. As is always the case when I go to such events (which hasn't been often) I'm the youngest by 10 years of anybody else there. To paint an even more accurate picture, 90% of the men there were more than 20 years older than me. This is the men's ministry of New Life Church. I'm the outsider.
I'm sure these groups are fantastic places to be for these men. The leaders at the meeting last night are an amalgam of top-notch men who fear the Lord, stand stalwart in defense of righteousness, and honestly pursue a passion for ministry, worship, truth, etc. One example is Jim Worden, who leads the Saturday men's breakfast meeting. He obviously has a desire to see men praying together and standing together for Jesus's glory, and I know he's impacted hundreds of men in our community.
But he doesn't understand my generation.
I think I am about as average as they come. I'm not charismatic. I don't have it all together like Aaron Stern or John Bolin. I'm not naturally gifted in public speaking or leadership. I'm part of the 70% - the huddled masses in the middle who are not glaringly bad or good - who are living life in a relatively boring albeit satisfying manner.
We all know 'that family'. The husband and wife have been in perpetual honeymoon mode for 10 years. They have 4 beautiful children at the Classical Academy. Their dishes and laundry are always done and put away. They have their 2 new cars and their house in Cordera paid for - even though they make less than you and had twice the student loan debt after college. They have 1 hour quiet times every day that are dynamic and prophetic. They can lead worship. They get plenty of sleep. Their lawn is neatly manicured. To top it all off, they have time to work out 4 times a week.
Maybe my envy is a little obvious here - and maybe I'm projecting my envy on an imaginary family that I think I see at church each week.
My point though, is that I am not that family. My lawn is ugly. There is a perpetual pile of laundry that never goes away. The dishes multiply before my very eyes. My mortgage doesn't seem to go down at all - in fact it seems to have gone up. My quiet times are sporadic and frequently forced or powerless. My son has an incurable disease.
And my life is awesome!
Consider the representative family at New Life who both come from broken homes or is trying to make a second marriage with step-kids, step-parents, and step-pets work. Military families who spend months away from dad and feel isolated and alone. People trying to recover from a debilitating injury. People who couldn't go to college and struggle to find / keep a job. People recovering from alcholism, abuse, dysfunctional families... the list goes on and on. These are the people that populate my swanky mega-church. We (including me) never see it, though.
The men in these families need a small group - a brotherhood of men who expect nothing but loyalty and support. We're barraged already by an unending stream of expectations to be the men we're supposed to be: Spend more time with your kids, help out with the housework, work harder to make more money to be able to upgrade your cars and house, read the Bible and have a quiet time every morning, read the latest marriage-enrichment book, work out so you don't get fat and unhealthy, save money for vacations, kids college, adoption, retirement, a mission trip, give to the needy - with faith - beyond your comfort level, be romantic with your wife, always listening and meeting her needs.
How do you expect these guys to respond when you say, "Oh, you also need to take one night a week and be involved in a men's small group."?
That's why I enjoy meeting Friday morning with the guys. I like that we don't have a list of questions or formulaic sharing times to go through. I know I could be better at emphasizing prayer for eachother - and getting together with the guys once a month for some men's night out thing.
I heard again at this meeting that Pastor Brady considers the men's ministry priority #1 for the church, and that he intends to lead the men's ministry. How, O God! can we strategically reach my generation?
I'm sure these groups are fantastic places to be for these men. The leaders at the meeting last night are an amalgam of top-notch men who fear the Lord, stand stalwart in defense of righteousness, and honestly pursue a passion for ministry, worship, truth, etc. One example is Jim Worden, who leads the Saturday men's breakfast meeting. He obviously has a desire to see men praying together and standing together for Jesus's glory, and I know he's impacted hundreds of men in our community.
But he doesn't understand my generation.
I think I am about as average as they come. I'm not charismatic. I don't have it all together like Aaron Stern or John Bolin. I'm not naturally gifted in public speaking or leadership. I'm part of the 70% - the huddled masses in the middle who are not glaringly bad or good - who are living life in a relatively boring albeit satisfying manner.
We all know 'that family'. The husband and wife have been in perpetual honeymoon mode for 10 years. They have 4 beautiful children at the Classical Academy. Their dishes and laundry are always done and put away. They have their 2 new cars and their house in Cordera paid for - even though they make less than you and had twice the student loan debt after college. They have 1 hour quiet times every day that are dynamic and prophetic. They can lead worship. They get plenty of sleep. Their lawn is neatly manicured. To top it all off, they have time to work out 4 times a week.
Maybe my envy is a little obvious here - and maybe I'm projecting my envy on an imaginary family that I think I see at church each week.
My point though, is that I am not that family. My lawn is ugly. There is a perpetual pile of laundry that never goes away. The dishes multiply before my very eyes. My mortgage doesn't seem to go down at all - in fact it seems to have gone up. My quiet times are sporadic and frequently forced or powerless. My son has an incurable disease.
And my life is awesome!
Consider the representative family at New Life who both come from broken homes or is trying to make a second marriage with step-kids, step-parents, and step-pets work. Military families who spend months away from dad and feel isolated and alone. People trying to recover from a debilitating injury. People who couldn't go to college and struggle to find / keep a job. People recovering from alcholism, abuse, dysfunctional families... the list goes on and on. These are the people that populate my swanky mega-church. We (including me) never see it, though.
The men in these families need a small group - a brotherhood of men who expect nothing but loyalty and support. We're barraged already by an unending stream of expectations to be the men we're supposed to be: Spend more time with your kids, help out with the housework, work harder to make more money to be able to upgrade your cars and house, read the Bible and have a quiet time every morning, read the latest marriage-enrichment book, work out so you don't get fat and unhealthy, save money for vacations, kids college, adoption, retirement, a mission trip, give to the needy - with faith - beyond your comfort level, be romantic with your wife, always listening and meeting her needs.
How do you expect these guys to respond when you say, "Oh, you also need to take one night a week and be involved in a men's small group."?
That's why I enjoy meeting Friday morning with the guys. I like that we don't have a list of questions or formulaic sharing times to go through. I know I could be better at emphasizing prayer for eachother - and getting together with the guys once a month for some men's night out thing.
I heard again at this meeting that Pastor Brady considers the men's ministry priority #1 for the church, and that he intends to lead the men's ministry. How, O God! can we strategically reach my generation?
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